NOW! NOW! NOW!

You know what I think everyone who wants to return to school blocks out of their head? The nightmare that is scheduling classes. What a pain in the rear! Part of my issues are stemming from the fact that since I did not graduate from high school in this state, the school is convinced that my high school and first university I attended are lying about my AP scores. This must have been something that they cooked up while having lunch together, "Haha, won't it be funny to put fake AP scores on this girl's transcripts? If it says it on both, people will have to believe us, WA HA HA!!!!" So, I am having to order my scores from AP themselves (at $25 per score- thanks a lot!), because my new school won't take any word on the subject but theirs.
Luckily, my advisor was extremely cool, and is over-riding me into my chosen classes until the school gets my scores... because even though I have taken courses building off of Psych 101, when I go to register for upper-division classes, the computer sees that I don't yet have credit for Psych 101 and has a panic attack. I kid you not- red X's go up, shrieking noises are heard and the whole computer begins to shake. (I may or may not be causing two out of three of those symptoms....). And since she can only override specific sections, registration goes something like this:
My Psychology research lab opened up on a Wednesday! Frantic copying and e-mailing of course section ensues.
E-mail reply: You forgot to include your student number, waiver of ownership to first born child and the 3,000 digit secondary call number! When I get that, I'll override!
Hair pulling and looking up said numbers ensues. Waiver to ownership of firstborn child notarized.
Email reply All set, go ahead and register.
Log onto student account: ERROR!!! ERROR!!! This section is closed!
Shrieking noises and computer shaking commences.
Rinse and repeat!
I have now been doing this dance for ONE SOLID WEEK trying to register for summer and fall. In the meantime, I have also been studying for Clep Exams, since this school requires a couple gen eds that I had not been required to take before, and really don't want to take now. And I am cool with that- they want a full year of US history when I've only taken half so far? That's cool- I like history, and I took honors US history in high school- Clep exam, no sweat! Astronomy and Geology aren't good enough science classes? No sweat! I took honors Biology in high school, plus plenty of animal science classes- Clep exam, nooooo problem! But "pick another Humanities class because your entire Theatre minor, plus work experience in theatre outside of school can't count as a Theatre Appreciation class??????" COME ON! Too discouraged to fight the powers that be on that one, I say bring on the History of Western Civilization Clep exam (another honors class in high school). I know I sound like I am bitching just a wee bit (who, me?), but I actually am not terribly upset because it appears that I will be able to graduate within a year, 18 months at the most. I have already started researching grad school.... because I just like to keep adding the stress!
My biggest motivation for getting this all done, like NOW, is so that I will have nothing to stress over on Saturday. Saturday being the most special day of the year, the day that make all other days worth getting through. Yes, friends, this Saturday is the first Saturday in May- Derby Day! The day that I reserve the right to be a complete pain in the ass, to rouse my friends from their beds at 4:30am because GOD FORBID that I not get my spot on the rail, right in front of the huge TV screen, over looking the backside. The world will end if my view of barn chores is obstructed, or I am not close enough to the turf horses to feel their breath. And dang it, how would I be expected to keep myself from falling over in excitement if I didn't have the fence to cling to anyway? But, on the bright side, I always bring good snacks and am generally in such good spirits that I practically radiate sunshine, so every year I am forgiven for my neurotic MUST GET TO CHURCHILL DOWNS NOW! NOW! NOW! attitude and everyone has a good time.
This year, Derby is even more special because I will be getting to see friends who I love and have not seen in months due to my relocation. (Except those of you who will be out of town- that makes me sad, partially because I will miss seeing you, and mostly because it boggles my wee brain that anyone would travel anywhere other than Louisville, KY the first week-end in May!) Usually, I compare Derby to Christmas, Thanksgiving and New Years all rolled into one day.... this year, we'll throw Fourth of July into the mix. Here's to the best week-end... ever!

The pre-panic attack

I have spent the last two hours going over the school catalog so that I will be ready to meet with my advisor tomorrow. I've been working this lovely little puzzle where I have juggled summer classes that last for both sessions with summer classes that are only in session one, and then ones that are only session two. Since all the credit hours are the same, I end up banging out more credit hours than if I took all full-summer courses. Cool, right?
Now, here's the hitch. While my transcript review did end up crediting me all of my classes that I had taken before, it did not reflect the AP exam scores that had gotten me out of Freshman English and Psychology 101. Obviously, Psychology 101 (or whatever equivalent) is a pre-req to EVERY CLASS I NEED TO TAKE. Oh, except for one upper-level literature class, which (you guessed it!) requires English 101. Now... my transcript reflects that I have already taken upper-division level Psychology courses in college. Is there really a chance that I will spend this summer taking Psych 101, a class that I tested out of while still in high school??? That stresses me, that stresses me a lot. But I will find out tomorrow... surely they are going to count my AP scores, or at the very least decide that taking upper level Psychology classes in the past is an acceptable pre-req... right??? RIGHT???
Well, from there it dawned on me that I am jumping from not being in school at all to taking all upper-division classes. Because that is all I have left. Is my head going to spin so fast that my brain flies out of my ears? Will I be over-challenged and fail everything? And who on earth is going to clean this house while I do all this working/studying?????
Sigh... another rambling of the only girl on earth who can work up a good panic attack before having anything to actually panic about...

And finally, the wheels are in motion.

Once upon a time, there was a girl who was thoroughly convinced that she was going to live on a thoroughbred breeding farm. She was also going to be a psychologist, a lighting designer/stage manager and write children's books. The day would go something like this: wake up before dawn, feed the horses, groom them, get the vet work done, see patients, evening barn chores, go into town and work on a show, come home and write kids books for an hour or two, bedtime, repeat. That girl was an overachieving idiot. That girl was me... and still is. I am still the overachieving juggler of a million things, but my focus has narrowed. I mean, I started school 7 years ago with a double major of theatre design and psychology with a minor in animal science. Then dropped to psychology with an animal science minor. And then, my head exploded and I had to go work with horses to fix it, which expanded into an overall interest in veterinary medicine... and then, I was going to become an LVT and then get a master's in psychology and work with animals part time and be a full-time therapist and raise horses on the side, and oh, yeah! Wouldn't it be cool to have a family and kids someday too? And a therapy dog! Because I can juggle all that, no sweat!
Wait... I said my focus had narrowed, right? Yeah, apparently not as much as I thought it had. OK, basically, this is all a very long-winded way of pointing out that through it all, the desire to be a psychologist has been there. In the back of my mind, it has always come back to "one day" I'll go into therapy. Over the last few years, I have noticed this coming out more and more at work. My mental focus has shifted from just making sure that the animals are well-cared for and comfortable during their illness to making sure that the owners equally comfortable and re-assured of the care they have given their pets. And to making sure that euthanasia's are equally about the pet and the owner. I've started reading more and more about the human-animal bond and grief, and using what I've learned when clients ask the Big Questions, "How will I know when it's time?" "Is this happening because of something I did/didn't do for him?" "Do you think he hate me for putting him through this treatment/surgery/hospice care?" And slowly, very slowly, it has finally clicked in my mind that I need to do what I have obviously been meant to do all this time.
Monday evening, I got my acceptance letter for school. I plan to bang out the bachelor's in psychology that I abandoned within 12-18 months so that I can move onto my master's in professional mental health counseling. So, as of June, I will be a full-time student, a full-time vet tech, and a full-time cat/dog/horse mom, all while still somehow taking care of myself. The idiot overachiever wouldn't have it any other way....