It's the most shittiest time of the year!

Admitting you have a problem is the first step. So, here it is. *Deep, cleansing breath*

I hate Christmas

So, there it is. I'm not proud of it. In fact, I hate this little fact about me. And it wasn't always this way. I used to look forward to Christmas more than any time of year. I was the QUEEN of the "Christmas Spirit." There was something about December that gave me a warm fuzzy feeling that, no matter what happened in my life, lasted until the new year. I couldn't help but smile when I saw Christmas lights. My heart skipped a beat with every Christmas song I heard. I actually (wait for it...) ENJOYED the mall! Wrapped in my warm winter coat, I'd stroll through Old Orchard with a friend two, sipping Starbucks as the snow fell and enjoying the decorations. Every store I ducked into would smell of cinnamon and cookies, and the crowds were so happy and friendly that I didn't even mind being in a public place, searching for the perfect gift. I gave change to Santa's ringing bells. I wore red and green. I ate Christmas cookies. I loved Christmas.

And now? I won't even go into a Wal-Mart pass November first, much less the mall. I roll my eyes at Christmas lights. Christmas music irritates me so much that my eye actually starts to twitch. I hate the freezing cold. And most of all, I hate the expectations of the people around me. So what if I haven't had a Christmas tree since 2003? So what if this is the first Christmas in at least four years that I am going to see my family? So what if I feel like pissing thousands of dollars on gifts that will probably lost or broken before New Years Eve is a waste, especially when you consider the amount of debt that American families are already in? Because that is what Christmas is about now! People fighting in malls over the latest toy. Competing with each other over who can give the best, most expensive gift. Complaining that they didn't get enough this year!

I think I have become so jaded over Christmas because this holiday of joy and love and generosity to those less fortunate is now just a front for SPEND, SPEND, SPEND!!!!! Maybe I am too literal, but I observe no joy in the two psycho mothers ripping into each other over the last PlayStation 3. I see no generous spirit when one kid has 100 toys under the Christmas tree, and a poor child has NOTHING. The firefighters toy program was almost shut down this year for lack of support. Granted, members of the community rallied around the firefighters to keep the program going, but they are still below their goal with less than 10 days to go. Because heaven forbid that little Joey Richboy not have a big screen TV, a PlayStation, a Wii, an Ipod and 100 other things under the tree so that mom can afford to buy a doll or two for underprivileged kids.

The ideas behind Christmas is gone, so why bother anymore??? Push Christmas aside, and let the religious, generous people celebrate it for what it is supposed to be. The rest of you? Merry Spend it All Day!!!! And have a Happy Debt Year!!!