Harry Potter and the Deathly Hacker!

As usual, some moron thought that it would be a good idea to leak Harry Potter spoilers to the world. Yesterday, I saw the fateful headline, "Final Chapter of Harry Potter Leaked!" I immediately closed my web browser. This morning, my favorite radio station exuberantly announced that they had read the last chapter of Harry Potter, and would be reading passages later on in the show. I immediately switched off the radio, foregoing my weather and traffic report, not to mention my music. Get the picture?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!!!
Call me a nerd, a dork, a loser, whatever you want, but I happen to love books. I hate having them ruined. In fact, many of my pet peeves involve reading. People interrupting me while I am reading. People asking me what the book is "about." People reading over my shoulder. People telling me, "the movie is better." People SPOILING my reading experience by informing me of key, exciting details: "Well, this way, you don't have to bother reading the book." I want to read the book. That's why I chose to read the book to begin with.
Yeah, I am a little extreme here, but I have been looking forward to the final Harry Potter book for years now. Not a couple of days or weeks. YEARS. A LOT OF YEARS! And there is a reason that I do not pre-order the book. I look forward to the experience of going to the store at 10:30pm, waiting in line with other excited people. I like the costumes, I like the atmosphere. But most of all, I LOVE settling onto my couch a little after midnight, under my blanket, cozy with my book, my cats, and some milk and cookies. And in dead silence, I stay up all night with my new book. The story unfolds before me, and it is new and exciting and completely thrilling. And above all, it is COZY. When book six came out two years ago, I was sad to realize that there would only be one more *NEW HARRY POTTER* book excitement EVER. For the rest of my life. Book seven is IT. I doubt that there will ever be another series of books that hold this kind of allure and anticipation for me. So, even though I will have to be at work at 6:30am the day after my midnight Harry Potter release, I will be pulling my usual all-nighter. Because it makes me happy. And if there is one thing that you learn as a grown-up, you have to cram some happiness in between the working and the bill paying.
SO, shortly after midnight on July 21st, I will be cozy on my couch, nestled in with my cats and cookies. And I will be discovering the Harry Potter conclusion for the FIRST TIME. And if this night is spoiled for me by some dumbass hacker, I will be PISSED OFF. I might join the folks at http://www.the-leaky-cauldron.org/ who have made some very nasty threats against anyone who spoils this long-anticipated, exciting book for them- I hope this hacker fears for his life. He should have aimed for hacking the F.B.I. database or something; believe it or not, I think that pissed off Potter fans are scarier and more dangerous.
Now, I know not everyone feels this way. You just want to know what is going to happen, and do not feel the need for my kind of new Harry Potter book ritual. This is fine. Spoil, spoil, spoil away for yourselves. The key word here? YOURSELVES!!! I don't want a hint, a clue or inkling. In fact, if you read the final chapter, please refrain from even thinking about it in my presence, in case I accidentally develop some sort of superhero, mind-reading abilities. Some of my friends (ahem, CALLEE. I am speaking directly to YOU here) think it is really funny to reveal the ends/results of books, movies and sporting events for me. DON'T DO IT!!! It will not be funny. I will probably cry and/or become violent. I may even bite!
Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo,
NO SPOILERS!!!!!!!


Thanks!
(I'll return to normal July 22nd!)

Oh, yeah, and here is an excerpt from The Leaky Cauldron's article

Spoil Us Not, Sneaks!: A refresher on Leaky's pre-book policy:
Here it is, a refresher on Leaky's spoiler policy:
Ahem.
DON'T DO IT.
Sending us spoilers will get you one place, bucko: sent to Scholastic, Christopher Little, Bloomsbury, and every JoLawyer we can think of. We don't want to see them, we won't post them, and we'd want to stop you. Book revelations aren't to be spurted out in bullet form on a message board. They're to be read, dispersed at the proper moment, given all the context of the story. This is not like the movies, which cannot contain real plot surprises for fans.
If Harry dies, we don't want to know about it until J.K. Rowling decides to tell us. And if you decide to tell us before that, you'll incur the wrath of a staff of almost 200, most of whom have been waiting almost 10 years for these final revelations and can NEVER get back the moment you rob by spoiling them. That's some wrath, right there. We own pitchforks, hot wax and feathers. And we're not afraid to use them.
http://www.the-leaky-cauldron.org/2007/4/28/spoil-us-not-sneaks-a-refresher-on-leaky-s-pre-book-policy
I could not have said it better!!!!